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There is not enough plain talk in the world theses days.
Here are some plain words, spoken in love to all of you women out there. Women withholding sex (and not just sex but intimacy) from their husbands is just another way that they are not obeying God by submitting THEMSELVES unto their own husbands in EVERYTHING and are sinfully maintaining that CONTROL for themselves. With very, very few exceptions (rare health issues, addictions, or physically abusive situations), if you are a woman who calls herself Godly and thinks she is following Jesus Christ in her life but withholding sex from your husband you are living in a delusional fantasy.
Too many women want to try and make this a complex issue and discuss it (ad nauseam) from every possible angle. You are not serving Christ but Satan and Christ (if you even know Him) is severely grieved by your wretchedly SINFUL behavior. You cannot even fathom the amount and depth of damage that you are doing to your husband, your marriage, your children and consequently… This is yet another area where women are their own worst enemies!
Women have a thousand excuses for why they don’t “want” or “feel” like having sex with their husbands but when you blow away all of the smoke and smash all of the mirrors it all boils down to just… If you engage in this wretchedly sinful behavior, you are heaping tons of damage and pain and suffering on yourselves and everyone you claim to love most!
This is the primary key to achieving what you so deeply desire.
How fully and how often do you give yourself sexually to him?
Both of these needs were God created so if you despise them, you are despising God.
Even if you give your husband all of the sex he wants and his physical needs are met, if you do not emotionally participate (rather just give him Duty Sex), his emotional needs are still not met and no intimacy will be created between the two of you. You have to give YOURSELF COMPLETELY (physically and emotionally) to your husband for God’s blessings to be realized.
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God made it that quality sex on a regular basis ACTUALLY causes a man to feel closer to and have more loving thoughts and feelings toward his wife. It MAKES him want to do things to please her and make her happy! You must not just make your bodies “available” to your husband so they can use it to satisfy their physical needs, you must fully (mind, body, spirit) engage in the act with them. This level of trust and commitment might take some time and effort to achieve but it is the goal you must never cease in striving for and practice-makes-perfect.