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Can't say I've overheard any particularly lewd come-ons at an eatery as of late. I have learned by trial and error that a number of social behaviors permit the suggestion of sex, and others discourage it, and men (I am a heterosexual woman, so that's what I know) will use those behaviors to signal their intentions. For example, the after-dinner cocktail is a hook up opportunity. It might be that you are playing along in good flirtatious fun, as you have the right to do and to do safely, and that insodoing you are missing the opportunity to check these men sooner. If you end up in flirty or sexual banter with a man, it is playful fun as well as a trial balloon to see whether sex is available.You may need to practice shutting them down in a funny way.And with women coming ever closer to parity in society, the whole muscle reflex of paying being "just what guys do" is fading.In this day and age, I do tend to scrutinize more heavily guys who would insist on adding that unnecessarily disproportionate dynamic.I tried to stop going on real dates and instead do coffee. You may need to practice shutting them down in a funny way. Also, I don't think a man should expect sex just because he paid .00 for my dinner.I don't know him that well after 45 minutes dinner or lunch.
I mean I get the whole #Hookup Culture struggle, but if this is every time, I might ask what you could do differently.Start acting like an equal and pay for yourself on early dates and you'll get more respect and more respectful guys. They're not paying for you because you're a great person or because they think you're in need.In this day and age, I do tend to scrutinize more heavily guys who would insist on adding that unnecessarily disproportionate dynamic. Somehow i also doubt this would stop guys from asking for sex asap.If the guy starts to pressure then treat it like a bad job interview, as in thanks but no thanks and just get up and leave.And start going Dutch on early dates and paying for yourself or alternating paying since this isn't Victorian England.
I even go on dates wearing what is essentially a floor length mumu,and it still happens. There are lots of people looking for quick hookups, but plenty who aren't.