Dating expectations list
But we believe it would greatly benefit your future marriage if you would find a way to obtain this book and work through the rest of the principles in this chapter and others as well. This communication tool comes from the excellent book, A Lasting Promise: A Christian Guide to Fighting for Your Marriage, written by Scott Stanley, Daniel Trathen, Savanna Mc Cain, and Milt Bryan, published by Jossey-Bass Publishers There was a lot to this particular chapter that we couldn’t include in this article to protect the book’s copyrights. Use a scale of 1 to 10 where 10 = completely reasonable (“I really think it is OK to expect this in this relationship.”) and 1 = completely unreasonable expectation for me to have in our relationship.”) For example, suppose you grew up in a family where problems were not discussed, and you are aware that you honestly expect or prefer to avoid such discussions. Some other areas might include money (saving, spending); free time, recreation, TV; use of alcohol and drugs; your interactions in public; relatives; and so on.This is probably where many of your beliefs about what you want or don’t want come from. What do you expect about fidelity, including whether your partner should have friends of the opposite sex, and so forth? With many areas of expectation, we have provided some references to key passages of scripture that deal with that area. These are provided for further thought, reflection —even struggle —as you work through your expectations in this exercise. In what areas would you expect to be more emotionally independent?
You might now rate that expectation as not very reasonable.
I’ve learned from experience, from mistakes, from listening to friends and from reading websites.
But I think the most important thing I learned was something I caught onto myself: you can’t expect any kind of relationship to live up to the perfect expectations you will inevitably have.
The following exercises are designed to help you explore some of your expectations. If you married before and have children from that marriage, where do you want them to live? If there are or will be children, should either partner reduce work time out of the home to take care of them?
Plan to spend time thinking carefully about each area that is applicable to you. How do you expect that you should share in their discipline? Think about work, careers, and the provision of income.
We ask you to consider all manner of expectations about marriage in general.